Just another Friday out of the office.   Did he shag her?

Here at the Daily Chive we’ve decided to create a list of all the most amazing and wonderful laws passed by the human race. See if you can guess which are real:

1. Feminists for Choice alerts us to a new Oklahoma law (yes, law, not “proposed legislation” or “some kind of sick joke”) set to go into effect Nov. 1 that would collect detailed data about each abortion performed — and post it all on a public Web site called ShameOnYouWhore.com.
2. A legal requirement that any parent driving their children’s friends to a sport center must be approved by Childrens Health Services as approved childminders.
3. Any parent having scheduled playdates while the other parent is at work must also be approved by Children’s Health Services as approved childminders.
4. If the bartender gives you one too many and you have an accident the bartender is legally liable for the accident.
5. Teachers must report any tales told to them by their students regarding the students home life. i.e. Dad drank wine at dinner.

Can you guess which ones I made up and which are true? We’ll be adding to the list in the future and feel free to add your own!

5.

A wonderful tale came my way and I thought I’d share…..

The Unicorn And What It Is?

The concept of the Unicorn being horse like in appearance is quite inaccurate if you would listen to the likes of historians. They will tell it has the appearance of a goat like, deer like or a horned like elephant. If we go back in history we will even see that Marco Polo confused him with a rhinoceros, And further back still the native elders of the Tibetan tribes describe him as a monster with the head of dragon and the tail of a pig.

Well we all know that poor Marco was lost in china and had been drinking the wrong tea through a filter in a funny looking smoke filled house. The Tibetans were probably smoking a new weed like substance called ,”Dragon Pure “.This is now easily obtainable around any dark street corner for young dragon seeking enthusiast.
Still there are many different variations as to what our perception of the appearance the Unicorn holds. Even the silliest of us know that they all have one thing in common and that is a ,”Unus Cornu” don’t we? I know, “Sounds like a Cuban cigar”.

So does this mean that a Unicorn can be any creature with one horn?. Or should we believe that he is something more special and holds a secret degree in aerodynamics?

There are people like me who may just agree with my last statement, eh! yes. This is simply because all through history, underwear has went missing off clothes lines and never a footprint has been seen on the ground.
The Unicorn has always been more than just a horse with a large horn. It is also symbol of fertility, of mans prowess, as the horn stands proud and upwards piercing the sky. Coming in all imaginative shapes a sizes, they are the fairy tale dream of every woman and the envy of every man.

The Unicorn legend can be heard around the world, “well any place they have freedom of speech“. You wont hear anyone in a, “Nuns Monastery” talk about them as they are under a vow of silence or force of “habit “.I would guess they have their own dreams around them. What I mean is, what nun ,given their suppressed desires would not like to ride a Unicorn? And given the fact that it is a creature of purity and divinity they would probably feel closer to Heaven than they ever could possibly have imagined.

So now we know that the Unicorn can come in all shapes and sizes , whether it be a bull, deer, goat, or horse there is one thing we know now for sure. We can all say without a doubt that he is a horny creature.
Now caring for your unicorn can be tricky too, especially if you have a cat and only one litter tray. You see the unicorn tends to flap it’s wings when constipated, throwing your cat and everything else around the area. This can be fairly messy and embarrassing at times for the cat when blamed for the incident.
　
Now one other question begging to be asked is around the racialist aspect of this creature and an answer I personally have longed for to hear, “for no other reason bar the fact I am writing it“…eh?, yes. Why were there no Unicorns in such movies as, “Shaft, Super-Fly or Boys In The Hood”? If you were to watch a Unicorn just before it takes flight it does a little, “James Brown” sort of shuffle just before kicking itself into the air. But then again the unicorn does have a rather large tong which would which would make it difficult for the creature to pronounce such, “Jive” words as, “Hay! Clyde, you cool mother, give me some sugar”.Any such, “high five” slapping gestures afterward would probably end up with a broken hand or fatality on set. This again falls in the mythological aspect of the creature and as to why it seems to be more comfortable playing the docile role in such movies as “Jason The Argonauts”, where all that is asked of him is to act constipated and flap his wings .

So we will leave the Unicorn to our imagination ,knowing he is special among the creatures of legend . We now know he is both real and imaginary, a creature of the past and present, a solid and intangible animal with immortal powers, and yet has a child like imagery of vulnerability. A lot like, “George W Bush”?

Robert Anderson © Robert Anderson 2009

The left held a health care protest at a Whole Foods. Have to say they’re alot more fun then those psychos with Uzis at town halls. Must be all those organic mushrooms.

The FDA has swooped in and confiscated tens of thousands of scrummy donuts from a chicago business and the businessman Robert Ligon has been sentenced to 15 months for fraud. Lydon was apparently buying chocolate coated donuts from a local bakery sticking lo-cal labels on them and reselling the sinkers. Apparently the FDA began to notice that police forces in the Chicago area were packing on the pounds despite the best efforts of their nutrition panels. The police department in an effort to slim down and ordered all their patrol cars fitted out with Ligon’s carob coated lo-cal crullers. The program was a big hit with the patrolmen but residents began to complain that the cops belly’s were getting in the way of car doors, and preventing free passage on the street. Smelling something a bit too chocolatey rich with a hint of cinnamon, the raid was planned. In all half a million dollars worth of the sweet treats were taken in. Unfortunately the mouth watering dunkers mysteriously disappeared from the evidence room.

Dan Dan – O Danny Boy. I read his grand opus The Da Vinci Code after months of hearing in the news, on blogs, through family and friends that an amazing literary event had occurred. You can only imagine my shock as I began the treacherous task of reading the actual text. I have to confess I bought the book but I never got farther then the first eighty pages. Below read excerpts of all three of Brown’s masterpieces chosen by some brave souls who actually read the whole thing: DAN BROWN’S TWENTY WORST SENTENCES

They change the rules with impunity our legislators let them the regulators let them  one womans answer here

Unbelievable facts. yes – the US spends more on health care then any other country and where’s all that money going. To take care of the incredibly obese population of the US of A. All the extra dosh is spent on the huge amount of fat-induced diabetics, heart disease and even some cancers. So rform health insurance and force the reform of the agri-business fast food empty calorie american lifestyle.
LONG LIVE FREEDOM FRIES

Just when Americans were catching onto the whole british gap year tradition where high school graduates take a year and travel the world before starting University Bolivia has become the hot destination. Route 36, a cocaine lounge and backpacker nirvana hits La Paz.
Read more at the Guardian.

Behind The Scenes with Sarah Palin’s Own Personal Frankenstein: the Indomitable Levi Johnston  The New York Media Can’t Believe Their Luck!!!